—Like the Flowing River by Paulo Coelho

A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point, he asked:

“Are you writing a story about what we’ve done? Is it a story about me?”

His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson:

“I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I’m using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up.”

Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn’t seem very special.

“But it’s just like any other pencil I’ve ever seen!”

“That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.

“First quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will.

“Second quality: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharpener. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he’s much sharper. So you too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows because they will make you a better person.

“Third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.

“Forth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you.

“Finally, the pencil’s fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. In just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try be conscious of that in your every action.”

It is well known that a large number of chemicals commonly used in toiletries & skincare are known to be carcinogenic in lab animals or to disrupt hormones. Whether these compounds are in fact harmful to humans in the quantities found in cosmetics is in some cases inconclusive.

However for those who prefer an holistic & natural approach to wellbeing and beauty, using products containing these chemicals on a regular basis can feel incompatible with the choices we make about our food or environment. Plus some people find they experience symptoms such as dizzyness, eczema, irritation or nausea from some chemical based toiletries.

Here’s the low down on the ingredients that you won’t find in any products at Love Lula, that commonly go into toiletries and cosmetics and which the Soil Association, WWF and the Women’s Environmental Network, amongst others, think are best to avoid.

Artificial colours
Like artificial fragrance, artificial colours are a common cause of skin irritant and allergic reactions. Certain colours have been linked with attention deficit disorder (ADD) and hyperactivity1.

Artificial fragrance (parfum)
Only a few fragrances seem to provoke an allergy. However they are present in the majority of products under the blanket term, ‘parfum’. Children in particular tend to be more sensitive to fragrances and can develop allergic reaction easily2.

DEA or TEA (triethanolamine)
A colorless liquid or crystalline alcohol that is used as a solvent, emulsifier and detergent (wetting agent). Works as an emollient in skin softening lotions or as a humectant in other personal care products.

A problem arises when combined with an ingredient which acts as a nitrosating agent, such as 2-bromo-2-nitro-propane1,3-diol or if they are contaminated with a nitrosating agent, eg sodium nitrite 3. Although there is no proven link to cancer in humans, evidence exists showing they are carcinogenic in animals 2.

Formaldehyde (formalin / formal and methyl aldehyde, DMDM Hydantoin and Urea-Imidazolidinyl)
A toxic, colourless gas that is an irritant and a carcinogen. When combined with water, formaldehyde is used as a disinfectant, fixative or preservative. Found in many cosmetic products and nail care systems including deodorants, shampoos and hand wash. According to the US Environmental Protection Agency, formaldehyde can irritate the eyes, nose & throat and may also trigger asthma in senstive individuals. Its use is restricted in many countries.
GM ingredients
There has been much publicity over the past few years about GM foods. As yet insufficient testing has been performed to ascertain the full effect of GM foods on human health and the environment but preliminary trials have shown that growing certain GM crops reduces bio-diversity.
Contaminated Lanolin
Lanolin is a fatty substance extracted from wool. Frequently found in cosmetics and lotions where it is used for its skin soothing and softening properties, lanolin is a common skin sensitiser, that can cause allergic reactions, such as skin rashes when it contains traces of inorganic substances such as sheep dip. LoveLula only stocks products containing lanolin that has been tested for the absence of pesticide residues.

Parabens
Used as a preservative in many toiletries and cosmetics. Parabens work by inhibiting enzyme activity. Traces of parabens have been found in human breast tissue although a link with breast cancer has not been proven 6. Parabens have been shown to have an estrogenic effect, ie they can mimic hormones and have been nick named ‘gender benders’. One, propyl paraben, has been shown to adversely affect male reproductive functions; at the daily intake level acceptable under EC law, it decreased sperm production 7.

Mineral oil and petroleum derived ingredients
A derivative of crude oil, mineral oil forms an oily film over skin to lock in moisture. Initially it will leave your skin feeling silky smooth. However it traps in toxins and hinders normal respiration by keeping oxygen out. This can exacerbate skin disorders such as eczema. Mineral oil is found in many products including baby oil and bath and body oils.

Petrochemicals used in beauty products and toiletries include compounds such as propylene glycol, SD alcohol & benzene. Benzene is used as a solvent in lacquers and nail varnishes. It is highly toxic even in tiny quantities and has carcinogenic properties 1. Propylene glycol can cause contact dermatitis 8.

Phthalates (DBP / DMP / DEP)
Phthalates have been linked to decreased fertility in females and faulty reproductive development in male foetuses because of their ‘gender bender’ or hormone disrupting properties 8. They are found in lipstick, nail varnish to make it chip resistant and hairspray to add flexibility. Phthalates are rarely listed on the label as they are often included under blanket terms such as ‘parfum’.

SLS (sodium lauryl sulphate)
SLS, a detergent, is found in approximately 90% of commercial shampoos, including “no more tears” baby shampoos as well as toothpastes, bubble baths and shower gel. It makes a product bubble and foam. It is a caustic cleanser that can cause irritation to the scalp, eyes and skin. According to the Women’s Environmental Network there is some evidence to suggest reproductive effects and damage to liver, lungs & immune system.

Contaminated Talc
Cosmetic talc found in baby powders, face powders, body powders and some contraceptives is possibly toxic if contaminated with asbestos. LoveLula only stocks products containing talc that has been screened for the presence of asbestos prior to use.

Triclosan
The US Environmental Protection Agency registers triclosan as a pesticide giving it a high score for its risk to human health and to the environment. It is thought to encourage anti-microbial resistance in the same way as excessive anti-biotic use according to research at Tufts University in Boston. Triclosan has been found in breast milk and fish 9. It is used in deodorants, toothpaste and washes as an anti-bacterial.

Zirconium
Used in anti-perspirants, the substance is banned or restricted in cosmetics by the US Food and Drug Administration.

Okobo (おこぼ), also referred to as pokkuri, bokkuri, or koppori geta from the sound made when walking, are wooden sandals worn by maiko (apprentice geisha) during their apprenticeship. Okobo are very tall and usually made from a block of willow wood. Usually, the wood has either no finish or a natural finish, but during the summer months, maiko will wear black-lacquered okobo. They are held to the foot by simple thong-like straps in colors that represent their maiko status. Red straps are worn by new maiko, while yellow ones are worn by those who have nearly completed their apprenticeship. Okobo are worn to prevent the wearer’s kimono from touching the ground.

The Chinese custom of breaking and binding a little girl’s feet began over one thousand years ago. Since that time, millions of Chinese women from all classes have experienced the excruciating pain involved in achieving the extraordinarily tiny lotus foot. Foot binding began in the royal palaces in the mid-10th century. There are several stories surrounding how this strange custom began. Myths surrounding the gods and goddesses of China include a story about a fox who, in an attempt to disguise himself as an empress, concealed his feet by binding them. Another story suggests that the last empress of the Shang dynasty had a club foot and persuaded her husband to make the compression of the feet obligatory for young girls. The generally accepted theory, however, credits Prince Li Yu, who ruled one of ten kingdoms in southern China. It is said that he had a favourite woman in his concubine, who was a suburb dancer. “Precious Thing” toe danced inside a six-foot high platform shaped like a lotus flower made of gold.

A pair of lotus bud slippers of silk. Peking style, late 19th century. Length 4 ½ inches.This dance seems to be an early variation of ballet, though rather than squeezing the feet into toe shoes, Chinese women resorted to permanent disfigurement in order to execute the choreography. When the women of the concubine started to bind their feet to copy Precious Thing, it is likely that the bindings were very loose in comparison to what they would become.

The custom of foot binding was at first a sign of wealth, as the woman with a properly bound foot could do very little. This remained a custom of the royalty, nobility and very rich until the beginning of the 17th century. By the end of the 1600’s, millions of women from all classes were binding their feet in order to imitate the upper classes. Though the custom was outlawed in 1911, footbinding was not completely abandoned until the Communists, under the leadership of Mao Zedong, proclaimed the People’s Republic of China in 1949.

There is a story of a young, but earnest Zen student who approached his teacher, and asked the Master, “If I work very hard and diligently, how long will it take for me to find Zen? The Master thought about this, then replied, “Ten years.” The student then said, “But what if I work very, very hard and really apply myself to learn fast – How long then?” Replied the Master, “Well, twenty years.” “But, if I really, really work at it, how long then?” asked the student. “Thirty years,” replied the Master. “But, I do not understand,” said the disappointed student. “At each time that I say I will work harder, you say it will take me longer. Why do you say that?” Replied the Master, “When you have one eye on the goal, you only have one eye on the path.”

This is the dilemma I’ve faced within the American education system. We are so focused on a goal, whether it be passing a test, or graduating as first in the class. However, in this way, we do not really learn. We do whatever it takes to achieve our original objective.

Some of you may be thinking, “Well, if you pass a test, or become valedictorian, didn’t you learn something? Well, yes, you learned something, but not all that you could have. Perhaps, you only learned how to memorize names, places, and dates to later on forget in order to clear your mind for the next test. School is not all that it can be. Right now, it is a place for most people to determine that their goal is to get out as soon as possible.

John Taylor Gatto, a retired school teacher and activist critical of compulsory schooling, asserts, “We could encourage the best qualities of youthfulness – curiosity, adventure, resilience, the capacity for surprising insight simply by being more flexible about time, texts, and tests, by introducing kids into truly competent adults, and by giving each student what autonomy he or she needs in order to take a risk every now and then. But we don’t do that.” Between these cinderblock walls, we are all expected to be the same. We are trained to ace every standardized test, and those who deviate and see light through a different lens are worthless to the scheme of public education, and therefore viewed with contempt.I am now accomplishing that goal. I am graduating. I should look at this as a positive experience, especially being at the top of my class. However, in retrospect, I cannot say that I am any more intelligent than my peers. I can attest that I am only the best at doing what I am told and working the system. Yet, here I stand, and I am supposed to be proud that I have completed this period of indoctrination. I will leave in the fall to go on to the next phase expected of me, in order to receive a paper document that certifies that I am capable of work. But I contend that I am a human being, a thinker, an adventurer – not a worker. A worker is someone who is trapped within repetition – a slave of the system set up before him. But now, I have successfully shown that I was the best slave. I did what I was told to the extreme. While others sat in class and doodled to later become great artists, I sat in class to take notes and become a great test-taker. While others would come to class without their homework done because they were reading about an interest of theirs, I never missed an assignment. While others were creating music and writing lyrics, I decided to do extra credit, even though I never needed it. So, I wonder, why did I even want this position? Sure, I earned it, but what will come of it? When I leave educational institutionalism, will I be successful or forever lost? I have no clue about what I want to do with my life; I have no interests because I saw every subject of study as work, and I excelled at every subject just for the purpose of excelling, not learning. And quite frankly, now I’m scared.

To illustrate this idea, doesn’t it perturb you to learn about the idea of “critical thinking?” Is there really such a thing as “uncritically thinking?” To think is to process information in order to form an opinion. But if we are not critical when processing this information, are we really thinking? Or are we mindlessly accepting other opinions as truth?H. L. Mencken wrote in The American Mercury for April 1924 that the aim of public education is not “to fill the young of the species with knowledge and awaken their intelligence. … Nothing could be further from the truth. The aim … is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed and train a standardized citizenry, to put down dissent and originality. That is its aim in the United States.”

This was happening to me, and if it wasn’t for the rare occurrence of an avant-garde tenth grade English teacher, Donna Bryan, who allowed me to open my mind and ask questions before accepting textbook doctrine, I would have been doomed. I am now enlightened, but my mind still feels disabled. I must retrain myself and constantly remember how insane this ostensibly sane place really is.

And now here I am in a world guided by fear, a world suppressing the uniqueness that lies inside each of us, a world where we can either acquiesce to the inhuman nonsense of corporatism and materialism or insist on change. We are not enlivened by an educational system that clandestinely sets us up for jobs that could be automated, for work that need not be done, for enslavement without fervency for meaningful achievement. We have no choices in life when money is our motivational force. Our motivational force ought to be passion, but this is lost from the moment we step into a system that trains us, rather than inspires us.

We are more than robotic bookshelves, conditioned to blurt out facts we were taught in school. We are all very special, every human on this planet is so special, so aren’t we all deserving of something better, of using our minds for innovation, rather than memorization, for creativity, rather than futile activity, for rumination rather than stagnation? We are not here to get a degree, to then get a job, so we can consume industry-approved placation after placation. There is more, and more still.

For those of you out there that must continue to sit in desks and yield to the authoritarian ideologies of instructors, do not be disheartened. You still have the opportunity to stand up, ask questions, be critical, and create your own perspective. Demand a setting that will provide you with intellectual capabilities that allow you to expand your mind instead of directing it. Demand that you be interested in class. Demand that the excuse, “You have to learn this for the test” is not good enough for you. Education is an excellent tool, if used properly, but focus more on learning rather than getting good grades.The saddest part is that the majority of students don’t have the opportunity to reflect as I did. The majority of students are put through the same brainwashing techniques in order to create a complacent labor force working in the interests of large corporations and secretive government, and worst of all, they are completely unaware of it. I will never be able to turn back these 18 years. I can’t run away to another country with an education system meant to enlighten rather than condition. This part of my life is over, and I want to make sure that no other child will have his or her potential suppressed by powers meant to exploit and control. We are human beings. We are thinkers, dreamers, explorers, artists, writers, engineers. We are anything we want to be – but only if we have an educational system that supports us rather than holds us down. A tree can grow, but only if its roots are given a healthy foundation.

For those of you that are now leaving this establishment, I say, do not forget what went on in these classrooms. Do not abandon those that come after you. We are the new future and we are not going to let tradition stand. We will break down the walls of corruption to let a garden of knowledge grow throughout America. Once educated properly, we will have the power to do anything, and best of all, we will only use that power for good, for we will be cultivated and wise. We will not accept anything at face value. We will ask questions, and we will demand truth.For those of you that work within the system that I am condemning, I do not mean to insult; I intend to motivate. You have the power to change the incompetencies of this system. I know that you did not become a teacher or administrator to see your students bored. You cannot accept the authority of the governing bodies that tell you what to teach, how to teach it, and that you will be punished if you do not comply. Our potential is at stake.

So, here I stand. I am not standing here as valedictorian by myself. I was molded by my environment, by all of my peers who are sitting here watching me. I couldn’t have accomplished this without all of you. It was all of you who truly made me the person I am today. It was all of you who were my competition, yet my backbone. In that way, we are all valedictorians.

I am now supposed to say farewell to this institution, those who maintain it, and those who stand with me and behind me, but I hope this farewell is more of a “see you later” when we are all working together to rear a pedagogic movement. But first, let’s go get those pieces of paper that tell us that we’re smart enough to do so!

Woman Hitler- Mother In law.
Evangelist- Evil agents
Large breasts- Great braless
Prison cell mate- Con still rapes me
Ordained Priest- Predator inside
School teacher – coach the losers
sexually transmitted diseases – Last steamy sex resulted in aids
Husband and wife- Fun was had in bed
The ménage à trois – A giant threesome
Feeling romantic- Flaming erection
X-Rated Movies- Sex video-mart
Life Sucks – I Fuck Less
I have a large penis – I please her vagina
President Clinton of the USA- To copulate, he finds interns
Catholicism – Comical Shit
Masturbation – Anatomist Rub
Anal retentive -A latrine event
Axl Rose – Oral sex
Debit card – Bad credit
Slot machines – Cash lost in ‘em
School master – The classroom
Eleven plus two – Twelve plus one
Dormitory – Dirty room
Punishment – Nine Thumps
The Morse code- Here come dots
Stupidsticks.com – Custom Dipsticks
Snooze alarms – Alas! No more Zs
A decimal point – I’m a dot in place
Astronomer – Moon starer
The eyes – They see
The public art galleries – Large picture halls, I bet
Election results – Lies – let’s recount
The Hurricanes -These churn air
-Anagrams in Famous Names-

Elvis – Lives
Elvis Aaron Presley- Seen alive? Sorry, pal!
Madonna Louise Ciccone – One cool dance musician.
Clint Eastwood – Old West action.
William Shakespeare – I’ll make a wise phrase.
Marilyn Manson – Manly man? No sir!
A Homer Simpson – Mr Homo Sapiens.
Giovanni Pergolesi – I love opera singing!
George Bush – He bugs Gore.
President Bush of the USA – A fresh one, but he’s stupid.
Osama bin Laden – A bad man, no lies.
Saddam Hussein- UN’s said he’s mad.
Adolf Hitler- Do real filth.
Monica Lewinsky – Nice silky woman.

Pablo Neruda (July 12, 1904 – September 23, 1973) was the pen name and, later, legal name of the ChileanCommunist writer and politician Neftalí Ricardo Reyes Basoalto. He chose his pen name in honour of the famousCzech poet Jan Neruda.

Neruda was accomplished in a variety of styles ranging from erotically charged love poems like his collectionTwenty Poems of Love and a Song of Despair, surrealist poems, historical epics, and overtly political manifestos. In 1971 Neruda won the Nobel Prize for Literature. Colombian novelist Gabriel García Márquez once called him “the greatest poet of the 20th century in any language.” Neruda always wrote in green ink as it was the color of “esperanza” (hope).

——-

One of my favorite poems by Pablo Neruda:

“Carnal Apple, Woman Filled, Burning Moon”

Carnal apple, Woman filled, burning moon,
dark smell of seaweed, crush of mud and light,
what secret knowledge is clasped between your pillars?
What primal night does Man touch with his senses?
Ay, Love is a journey through waters and stars,
through suffocating air, sharp tempests of grain:
Love is a war of lightning,and two bodies ruined by a single sweetness.
Kiss by kiss I cover your tiny infinity,
your margins, your rivers, your diminutive villages,
and a genital fire, transformed by delight,
slips through the narrow channels of blood
to precipitate a nocturnal carnation,
to be, and be nothing but light in the dark.

In November of 1988, Boy A (then 18), Boy B (Jo Kamisaku, then 17; Kamisaku was a new family name he took after being released from prison [1]), Boy C (then 16) and Boy D (then 17) from Tokyo abducted and held Furuta, a second year high school (grade 11) student from Saitama Prefecture in Misato, for 44 days. They kept her captive in the house owned by the parents of Boy C.

To forestall a manhunt, Boy A coerced Furuta into calling her own parents and telling them that she had run away from home, but was with “a friend” and was not in danger. He also browbeat her into posing as one of the boys’ girlfriends when the parents of the house where she was held were around, but when it became clear that the parents would not call the police, he dropped this pretext. Furuta tried to escape several times, begging the parents more than once to help her, but they did nothing, apparently out of fear that Boy A would hurt them. Boy A was at the time a low-level yakuza leader and had bragged that he could use his connections to kill anyone who interfered.

According to their statements at their trial, the four of them raped her, beat her, introduced foreign objects including an iron rod into her vagina, made her drink her own urine and was fed cockroaches, inserted fireworks into her anus, and set them off, forced Furuta to masturbate, cut her nipple with pliers, dropped dumbbells onto her stomach, and burned her with cigarettes and lighters. (One of the burnings was punishment for attempting to call the police.) At one point her injuries were so severe that according to one of the boys it took more than an hour for her to crawl downstairs to use the bathroom. They also related that “possibly a hundred different people” knew that Furuta had been imprisoned there, but it is not clear if this means they visited the house at different times while she was imprisoned there, or themselves either raped or abused her. When the boys refused to let her leave, she begged them on several occasions to “kill (her) and get it over with”.

On January 4, 1989, using one of the boys’ loss at mah-jongg as a pretext, the four beat her with an iron barbell, poured lighter fluid on her legs, arms, face and stomach, and set her on fire. She died later that day of shock. The four boys claimed that they were not aware of how badly injured she was, and that they believed she had been malingering.

The killers hid her corpse in an 55-gallon drum filled with cement; the perpetrators disposed the drum in a tract of reclaimed land in Koto, Tokyo.

Her killers are now free men. Justice has never been served, not even after 20 years.

You shy away in street walks with trying different covers, trying different lovers, different hair colors, different eye contacts. You can’t realize your kimono dresses, your cultural outfits are beautiful. You can’t realize that the best lovers under covers are you, it’s not like fact, the Asiatic population override forty percent of the human population. You can’t realize your smooth hair is the envy of many, the thick rich black that can be flipped switched and done whatever to. You can’t realize your brown eyes are the beauty of beasts. You take. Being ‘Asian’ an insult. You shy away in stereotypes. Well you’re wrong! They insult your male population with weak stature, weak posture, the size of their matter. You don’t defend nor do you take offense, so you call them huge dicks-attitude insults latitude, rude. They insult your intelligence with strict parents, yet I see a group of disciplined and respectful individuals towards any and all elders. They made fun of your accent, so you outdid them in school. They said you can’t dance, but your cultural background said otherwise, now you’re taking over urbans, yet they’re trying to do/say so otherwise. They said you all look the same, but that wasn’t it, it was cause you all stood together because everyone was trying to separate and break each and everyone one of you down, but you stood together! You were the birth of great action stars, so why do they come study these arts in your homeland hmm? Martial Arts. Marital Arts. Your culture sparked phenomena’s, look at Japanese gardens, Chinatown, Art, look at the countless food restaurants. Look at their shoes! Slavery. don’t talk slavery to you! Sadly, your people are still going through an age old injustice and everyone acting like that injustice is only tailored to the Americans. You’re not Asian? Oh, your pacific-islander? So does that make Taiwan and Japan, pacific islanders? So does being colonized by the Spaniards and stripped of your origins, from your ancestors who worship spirits to now Christianity and Catholicism, make you not Asian?

Yes, you’re not Asian. You’re right. Asians are people who still meet injustice, who still are laughed at, who still- are walked over and upon, whose culture spark trends, whose knowledge and contributions are like them, amazing but humble, who, even with all this are proud of who and where they are from. You aren’t Asian. You’re not Asian-American. You’re just a label of an American-Asian, Pacific-Islander that just so happens to be lucky that your ancestral blood is from such a great land, cause we all know Asians mix well with any group of “people”. So no, YOU’RE NOT ASIAN, don’t get mixed up with a proud people, cause Asians never thought of them as Asians BUT people. GTFO. *this goes to every other person who ain’t proud of where their parts started, were born, because in the end we all know we’re people, but those people that aren’t proud of the ancestry are idiots who have yet—-instead of looking us as group of persons, like we’re like a crayola box, we need each and every crayon to color this canvas called EARTH, but we have those people who are so selfish and act as if one crayon can turn an empty canvas beautiful and some, some people are not proud of their crayola color, they try to hide it. GTFO. Just GTFO. Be proud that you’re human. the only race that matters. White, Black, Blue etc is a color, be color blind. Asian, Mexican, African etc is a culture. Be proud of your cultural background, but in the end we are a race of humans first. To not be proud of who you are and to talk down on a different culture to make your build bigger is an absent of human character. There is such a thing as too proud that it’s cocky and then there’s proud in respects. You can’t change your cultural background with physical foregrounds, but what you can do, is build wallpapers to scale above the judgments, prejudice, pride and stereotypes.

1. Holding Objects in Front of Your Body: A coffee cup, notebook, handbag, etc. Holding objects in front of your body indicates shyness and resistance, and conveys that you’re hiding behind the objects in an effort to separate yourself from others. Instead of carrying objects in front of you, carry them at your side whenever possible.

2. Checking the Time or Inspecting Your Fingernails: A strong sign of boredom. Never glance at the time when you’re speaking with someone. Likewise, completely avoid the act of inspecting your fingernails.

3. Picking Lint off Your Clothes: If you pick lint off your clothes during a conversation, especially in conjunction with looking downward, most people will assume that you disapprove of their ideas and/or feel uneasy about giving them an honest opinion. Leave the lint alone!

4. Stroking Your Chin While Looking at Someone: “I’m judging you!” People frequently stroke their chin during the decision-making process. If you look at someone while you’re stroking your chin, they may assume that you’re making a judgmental decision about them.

5. Narrowing Your Eyes: If you want to give someone the impression that you don’t like them (or their ideas), narrow your eyes while looking at them. It immediately places a scowling expression on your face. A slight narrowing of the eyes is an instinctual, universal expression of anger across various species in the animal kingdom (think about the angry expressions of tigers, dogs, etc.). Some people make the mistake of narrowing their eyes during a conversation as a reflex of thinking. Don’t send people the wrong message … don’t narrow your eyes.

6. Standing Too Close: This just makes people feel uncomfortable. Most people consider the four square feet of space immediately surrounding their body their personal space. Cross this invisible boundary with good friends and intimate mates only.

7. Looking Down While in the Presence of Others: Usually indicates disinterest. Sometimes it’s even interpreted as a casual sign of arrogance. Always look straight ahead and make eye contact when you see someone you know.

8. Touching Your Face During a Conversation: Face touching, especially on the nose, is commonly interpreted as an indication of deception. Also, covering up the mouth is a common gesture people make when they’re lying. Always keep your hands away from your face when you’re speaking.

9. Faking a Smile: Another sign of deception commonly seen on the face of a fraud. A genuine smile wrinkles the corners of the eyes and changes the expression of the entire face. Fake smiles only involve the mouth and lips. It’s easy to distinguish between the two. Don’t force yourself to smile … unless it’s for the camera.

10. Leaning Away From Someone You Like: A sign of being bored and disinterested. Some people may also interpret it to mean “I don’t like you.” People typically lean toward someone they like and away from someone they dislike. This is especially true when sitting around a table. If you lean away from someone you like, you’re sending him or her the wrong message.

11. Resting Hands Behind Your Head or on Your Hips: Usually interpreted as a sign of superiority or bigheadedness. Only use these gestures when you’re in the presence of close friends.

12. Not Directly Facing the Person to Whom You’re Speaking: This indicates a certain level of discomfort or a lack of interest. When we’re happily engaged in a conversation, we face the person we’re speaking to with our feet and torso facing directly forward. When we’re unsure of the other person, or not completely committed to the conversation, we tend to angle our feet and torso to the side. Face directly forward during a conversation to give off the impression that you’re truly interested in what the other person is saying.

13. Crossing Your Arms: A sign of defensive resistance. Some people may also interpret it as a sign of egotism. Always try to keep your arms open and at your sides.

14. Displaying a Sluggish Posture: When you’re in an environment bustling with people, your posture becomes an immediate telltale sign of your confidence and composure. Your stance literally makes a stand for you, delivering a clear message about how you should be treated. It can make a huge difference in the way strangers respond to you. Place your feet a comfortable distance apart, keep your shoulders pulled back, head up and greet people with direct eye contact and a firm handshake.

15. Scratching at the Backside of Your Head and Neck: A typical sign of doubt and uncertainty. It can also be interpreted as an indication of lying. Try to keep your hands away from your head when you’re communicating with others.

16. Messing with the Collar of Your Shirt: It screams “I feel horribly uncomfortable and/or nervous!” Once again, keep track of your hands. Don’t fidget.

17. Increasing Your Rate of Blinking: A clear sign of anxiety. Some people start blinking their eyes really fast (in conjunction with an increased heart rate) when they get nervous. Since most people try to make eye contact, it becomes immediately obvious to others. Be cognizant of your blinking habits when you’re nervous, especially if someone is looking at you from close proximity.

18. Slouching Your Shoulders: Indicates low self-esteem. People associate perked-up shoulders with strong self-confidence. Always pull your shoulders back. Not only will you look more confident, you’ll feel more confident as well.

19. Standing with Your Hands Crossed over Your Genitals: This casual posture almost guarantees that you’ll lose a little respect before you even have the chance to speak a single word. People feeling nervous or unsure of themselves will unconsciously take a guarded stance. Quite frequently, they adopt a posture that guards one of their most vulnerable areas, their genitals. This stance pushes your shoulders forward and makes your entire body look smaller and weaker. Again, try to keep your hands at your sides and your shoulders back.

20. Propping Up Your Head with Your Hands: “I’m getting bored!” Never prop up your head with your elbows and hands during a conversation. Place your hands on the table in front of you and keep them at rest.

21. Wiping Sweaty Hands onto Your Clothes: A sign of frantic nervousness. If your hands are sweating, just let them sweat. Take a few deep breaths and try to relax.

22. Sitting on the Edge of Your Chair: A clear indication of being mentally and physically uncomfortable. It’s an apprehensive stance that will make others around you feel uncomfortable as well. Keep your rear end firmly planted on the surface of the seat. When you lean forward, use your back without moving your bottom.

23. Foot and Finger Tapping: Usually indicates stress, impatience, or boredom. Monitor your habits and practice keeping your limbs at rest.

24. Using Your Hands to Fidget with Small Objects: A pen, paper ball, etc. This is another sign of anxiety. It can also be interpreted as a lack of preparedness. It’s always best to keep your hands comfortably at rest when you’re in the presence of others.

25. Repeatedly Shifting Body Weight from Foot to Foot: This is another gesture that usually indicates mental and physical discomfort. People may see this and assume that you’re ready to abandon the conversation, especially if you’re not directly facing them. Don’t shift your feet around more than once every two to three minutes.